Plotzk

Me: I should make a to do list. But…. a long term to do list

Becca: Ok. You should include breathing and eating so you have things to check off.

Yesterday I was walking on Delancey street, minding my own business, studying immunizations. All of a sudden – screech thud – a blue car hit a bicycle. A hipster flew towards the pavement. I ran over to see if he was okay. He got up, blood streaming down his arm. The car window rolled down. A woman yelled from the driver’s seat – “What the hell?! Did you see I had the light! You have to watch where you’re going, you can’t be biking like you own the road,  you A-hole!”

I said to the hipster , “Are you all right?”

The hipster yelled back to the driver, “You F-ing B–ch, you F-ing hit me!”

I said, “Hey hey, I think you’re arm is bleeding, do you need me to call someone?”

The woman screamed back  to the hipster, “I HAD THE LIGHT!…”

The biker said, “Thanks, I don’t think I broke anything.”

The woman continued yelling at him “You could have destroyed my car..”

Then I said, “Hey, could you stop yelling at him, you just hit him with your car.”

She looked at me, “Mind your own f-ing business you b–ch”.

So, I went to the deli, got tissues and a big bandaid. When I got back the woman was out of her car. The hipster and her were in a screaming match. As in where is Jerry Springer when you need him?  Somehow, two men had joined, and started defending the driver, I’m not sure how they got involved. I went to the hipster and gave him my handful of tissues and the bandage. One of the two guys yelled at me – “Oh, that is so F-ed up. You wouldn’t have done that if he was black…” Did I mention the hipster was white and the woman was black and the two men were from Puerto Rico?

“What? He’s bleeding all over the place. You don’t even know me,” I said.

“Yeah right, you wouldn’t have helped a black guy. You’re just helping him because he’s white like you.”

“THANK YOU!,” said the driver.

Then I lost it. I screamed to his face, “You d-ckhead, you have no idea what you’re talking about. I was an HIV tester in homeless shelters. I work at a hospital in Flatbush. You don’t know me, what the hell are you talking about?” (A piece of advice: Never lose your temper in a racially charged argument that really has nothing to do with you.)

The man said, “You dumb racist wh-re, why don’t you go back where you came from. You’re not welcome here! We don’t want you here. You hear me? YOU’RE NOT WELCOME HERE.”

So I told him “F- you” then left. And called the cops to report that there was a bike accident, and gave them the women’s license plate number. Then I bought a pound of cherries and ate all of them while I walked home, grumbling that I wasn’t a racist – he was the racist - until I felt sick.

Today I had my first Skype conversation. It was with a current Luce Scholar in Hanoi, Vietnam. She warned me that there are no tampons there, and everything has whitening cream in it.

The preparation for the exodus is in full force. On Saturday John Montrose and I are selling/bartering most of our earthly belongings. I have been trying to teach myself about the Vietnam War, since my US history classes only got to 1950 by this time of year when I was in high school. JM is encouraging me by calling himself Agent Orange. I told him that would be a great name for a pet goldfish I might get. I think I offended him.

On my to do list

- Get rid of almost everything I own

- see doctors

- get a bike helmet

- start a new blog

- get a T2i camera and an awesome lens so I can make movies

- Register for the boards, which I am probably taking in Malaysia.

- make an email list

- Don’t fail pediatrics

progress to follow….

‪me:  ‪you’re going to love peds er

Sent at 9:27 PM on Monday

‪Rick:  ‪hah why

‪me:  ‪it was awesome. there are patients and things to do

‪me:  ‪today I helped staple a kid’s head, did a bunch of strep tests, helped catheter a toddler, and learned a little bit about how to put a cast on

‪Rick:  ‪thats sick.

me:  ‪by the way, how awesome is Dr. S?

‪Rick:  ‪yeah for sure. he still weirds me out sort of. but hes great

‪me:  ‪yeah. I feel so motivated after his sessions. For a split second today I considered going into neonatology

‪Rick:  ‪i know i was getting that too. it is supppperr interesting. its like a whole different species

‪me:  ‪I know. except when I work with babies I feel like I’m a vet.

Every wedding is a cause to celebrate! Have a great time.

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On May 19, 2011, at 10:23 PM <friend’s boyfriend’s mom> wrote:

We’re going to a wedding.–The daughter of Allan’s cousin who came to Rachel’s wedding.  She’s 39  or 40 so it’s cause to celebrate.  Sorry we won’t see you.

__________________________________________________________________________

On Thu, May 19, 2011 at 7:20 PM, <Friend> wrote:

Thanks for letting us know that you will be on the east coast. Unfortunately, this weekend isn’t good for me.  What brought you?

 ________________________________________________________________________

On May 19, 2011, at 5:15 PM, <friend’s boyfriend’s mom> wrote:

We’ll be in Boston this weekend.  Any chance that any of you would want to come in to see us?

Huh, that was an overly aggressive blog title.

I’m going to a wedding this weekend for the lovely Alice Macgill – recently Dr., soon to be Mrs. Maybe she wants to be Ms. Maybe Dr. will trump all gender-specific titles. Regardless, I’m more excited about Alice’s wedding than I was about Kate’s. So there.

Anywayzzle, long time no blog. To summarize pediatrics – the patients are adorable and they all have asthma and eye infections. Today I had to xerox a form and it came out of the machine with crayon all over it.  The wards are slow for allergy season. No complaints here. I hate snot. Plus, in my down time I can catch up on Sponge Bob in the Playroom.

More importantly, I am leaving the country. For those who still don’t know (even though I think I’ve posted this on the internet approx. 17,000 times):

I AM MOVING TO VIETNAM IN JUNE. I WILL BE THERE FOR A YEAR.

Preparation so far… Yesterday I begged my loan lenders to give me a deferment while I’m gone. My landlord has my move out date. My passport is getting a work visa. Marcel is moving to Pennsylvania. John Montrose is going to become a vagabond for a few weeks. It looks like we will purge most of our earthly belongings at the end of the month (moving sale soon – stay tuned).

Most importantly, I’m trying to make a new blog for Vietnam. I learned a little CSS (what?! really?!) so I’ve been playing with how it looks. If anyone would like to preview, let me know.

I’ll leave you with that, darling reader. Time for a bus to Philadelphia for the greatest wedding of the year. (Yeah, Kate, you read right).

A week of pediatrics. Cute patients, but it reminds me too much of being a nanny to do it full time. And, it’s a well-known fact that I think snot is one of the grossest substances on the planet.

So, here are some reflections on the past 6 days, a la me and my teammate “rick” on gchat