Another Craigslist Gem

June 17, 2010

Looking for Rabbi Versed in DARK TALMUDIC ARTS to create GOLEM


One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives.

We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem!

Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from inanimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for “precious”. This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only.

(From Astoria, New York)

FYI, Golems are basically soulless beings made of clay etc, designed to serve their master. For more information, check out your local Jewish Virtual Library.

I think this is a brilliant idea. What would your Golem do for you? … Mine would put my laundry away, paint the living room wall, and remember to water the plants… Anyone out there have any magical ancient skills?


3 Responses to “Another Craigslist Gem”

  1. Irene Plotzker Says:


    Was this a real ad, or were you just being your usual creative self?

    My golem would clean the house, of course!

    Love, Mom

  2. rayro Says:

    totally sweet. Did you nominate it yet to the best of craigslist?

  3. Melanie Says:

    Oh no! I am Golem! It all makes perfect sense now- “rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping”; basic childcare activities, soulless being; wow! It’s like they’ve known me my whole life!

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