Weekend Patient

August 2, 2010

There have been a lot of patients worth writing about. But, there’s not enough time to write anything that would do them justice. I only spent a few minutes with this one. He was in a coma, and I was practically in a coma because I slept 4 hours the night before. Leonardo DiCaprio, why do you keep me up at night?

His story —

When I came into the room he was heavily sedated. He’d been having seizures, or, they weren’t sure if they were seizures, but that’s why neurology was called.

His face was badly slashed open on both sides. He looked like he was under the care of Dr. Frankenstein, and there was still dried blood caked in his beard and his left ear.

On Friday night, he came to the ER because of the wounds. A nurse found a bag of something in his rectum. As soon as they pulled it out, he grabbed it, shoved it in his mouth, and swallowed. Then he passed out. They did an X-ray, which showed a few bags in his stomach. Contents unknown.  When we examined him, there were restraints on his wrists, shackles on his feet.

The good news – he wasn’t brain dead, and the shaking wasn’t a seizure. The next step was to decide whether to let the bags pass, or get them out surgically.

Important questions I will never know the answers to:

1) What’s in the bags?

2) Are they leaking into his blood?

3) What is this patient’s name?


3 Responses to “Weekend Patient”

  1. furrydoc Says:

    you will probably figure out what is in the bags, either via recovery or from toxicology. had somebody given him narcan, you might know immediately

    whether the bag leaked can be tested after they are recovered.

    usually guys like this have their fingerprints on file at the fbi. their names and often multiple aliases can be established though i am not sure privacy laws permit this way of establishing identity.

  2. buramoe2 Says:

    Thanks Dad.

  3. eeekers! That is crazy!

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