pep talk a la gchat

August 25, 2010

me: how’s medicine going?
Friend: i havent done anything for the past 3 days
literally anything, i round in the morning and study all day waiting for a resident to call my cell phone
me: wow, I’m kind of jealous that sounds great
Friend: the first 2 weeks were great, and my new resident is an asshole
me: oh, sorry to hear that
Friend: nah im not learning anything
me: you’re studying though.
that’s good
Friend: im jealous of u, i need someone to teach me things
me: well, it doesn’t matter when you’re too tired/burnt out to learn
i swear, in one ear, out the other
Friend: yeah maybe
im fucking exhausted, and im not even workig that h ard
i bet u are super tired
me: tired and bitter
best combo
Friend: why bitter?
me: besides, you rock at standardized tests, you will be fine
i just don’t like this lifestyle
or hospitals, or wearing white coats. the whole thing is a giant impersonal industrialized healthcare system
Friend: yeah but u dont have to work in a hospital your whole life, once you are trained you can do whatever you want
and your lifestyle can be awesome
me: light at the end of the 7 year tunnel.
Friend: yeah whatever, its still a light
and the science is still interesting, right?
me: no
Friend: u lie, ive seen u get madd pumped over science
me: nope. i really don’t care anymore
Friend: roz!
you are supposed to be enthusiastic
and i am supposed to be bitter and grumpy
where is the zest
me: i need 8 hours of sleep, 3 hours of free time. right now i’m at 5-6, and slim-0
Friend: you are gonna make a great doctor
and free time is for chumps who are going to wake up when theyre 40 and realize they have done nothing with their lives
me: free time is important
Friend: i could use some sleep though
free time is important when you have kids
me: you don’t have free time when you have kids
Friend: then whatre u questioning?
im not saying this isnt horrible
but its worth it, i think so anyways
me: there is no reason it should be this hard
Friend: what? yeah it should, its a wicked important job
me: I will never need to know what the piriformis muscle does, or any of the proteins  in mitochondria, and as a result of knowing all that stuff, I feel like I have no idea what antibiotics to give for someone with atypical pneumonia
Friend: ok hold up. i disagree, i think they need to make it this hard, for two reasons
one: you do need to know the really obscure shit, thats what separates you from a nurse, anyone can do the easy stuff but you have to be trained to recognize the stuff thats not as obvious
two: they need to make it this hard so your brain is hardwired to think and do shit super fast so you don’t fuck anything up, its like a weeding out process
me: well, it’s done the opposite for me and I don’t want to work anymore
Friend: hahaha u are depressing me
me: told you so.
Friend: well snap out of it! its not as bad as it seems, medicine is the worst rotation. and its 1/4 done
and we will have done this first so surgery will be easier
so will everything after this
is this not working?
me: i think i just need sleep and one or two days when I get questions right.
the first week was great.
the second week of the rotation went down hill
and today was rough
maybe tomorrow will be better

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